Use Your Wisdom

I was reading through the May 2009 edition of Time Magazine when a comment by Meg Ryan jumped off the pages and pointed out something spectacularly important. That’s right, Meg Ryan the actress. She wrote a short blurb on Tom Hanks for the magazine’s “The Time 100: The World’s Most Influential People.” Tom is one of the esteemed 100. In any event, Meg was rambling, almost aimlessly, about how great Tom is and how much fun he can be. The article didn’t offer much support to what made Tom so influential until she hit the home run with one quick observation. “He’s interesting because he is interested.” She went on to say he has a “wondrous capacity to wonder.”

Until reading those words I honestly hadn’t considered before how many of the people I would call influential in my life had the quality of being interested. Interested not just in me, but in everything around them. They reached beyond themselves and took in any and all information their surroundings had to offer. Questions were asked for answers, not for conversation’s sake. Observations were made for knowledge and not for ego. I suppose when you think of what it takes to be influential, being able to understand or relate to those we share our environment would play a heavy role.

Now my mind is flipping through the people I’ve encountered in my life who clearly wanted the power of influence, but who just couldn’t quite get there. Many did seem to be missing the inclination to take a genuine interest in anyone or anything other than themselves. Now isn’t that something to think about? And all because of Meg Ryan.

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My 2 1/2 year old daughter is painfully literal and it frequently gives us a giggle.  Olivia is going through a phase of barking out orders.  “I want my milk” she announced not long ago.  Her father and I are both working on curbing her habit to demand.  “You don’t ask your mother for milk that way,” my darling husband corrects.  “You need to say may I have some milk mom…pretty please with a cherry on top.”  Instantly Olivia was in hysterics. “But I don’t want a CHERRY on top,” she wailed.  Her literal mind was sure her father was suggesting she request a cherry on top of her milk.

Our communication missteps remind me of a kindergarten teacher I once knew who remarked how often adults fail to say what they really mean.  They think they’ve been clear and that their point has been received as intended, and yet they’ve botched the message severely.  It’s funny when we do it with kids because we are willing to laugh when we’ve been misunderstood.  We don’t really blame it on ourselves, but on the fact our kids’ sense of language is still developing.  We think it’s cute.  When it happens with other adults we are less gracious.

It’s not rare to see ‘situations’ develop as a result of poor word choices or expressions.  When called on it, adults will often argue “well, that’s just semantics!”  As if using the more accurate word(s) isn’t necessary because “well, you know what I meant.”  The thing is though, people often really don’t know what the person meant.  I know I get the eye roll often for clarifying what someone is attempting to say.  This is especially true during intense exchanges.  It’s not to be annoying.  I’ve just ridden the drama train enough times in life to realize the wisdom in verifying the need to be pissed off before handing my ticket to the conductor.

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One of the saddest developments in the 2008 election season was the endless questioning of Barack Obama’s faith.  Yes, it could be argued whether or not some of his beliefs or decisions live up to Biblical expectation.  The fact is though, all Christians are flawed in some way.  That is why all needed to be saved.  The most important aspect of Christianity, in my opinion, is accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.  Once you’ve done that publicly it is pretty much between you and God to know how true it is.

Up to the election, and even now, you can still find individuals denouncing Obama’s Christianity.  Some do so as a result of his stance on gay rights and abortion.  Never mind he himself is not gay, nor has he ever had an abortion.  He is right with what some believe God expects, he simply believes, as do most, politicians are in place to honor the Constitution of our country and churches are a place to honor the law of God.  And if we want to hold the Bible to the letter, I don’t think there is a politician in existence, with all sins being equal, who is in the clear.  There are plenty who not only condone things that go against the Bible, but practice things that are actually part of the 10 Commandments.  Thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not commit adultery and thou shall love thy neighbor (and not bear false witness against them) are the top three that come to mind.  Those candidates don’t seem to attract the same level of condemnation for their direct sins against God.  It makes it hard to consider the Christian Right credible when they rise against a candidate over abortion and homosexuality, but shake off the indiscretions of those who happen to line up on their side of the abortion/homosexuality issue.  Again, all sins being equal.

The most upsetting for me is those who say Obama is not a Christian because of his name.  They admit this with a wink and a grin as if his name exposes him for the fraud he is.  I want to shake these people and remind them of their Missionary work.  How many Christian soldiers are spread throughout the world right now converting non-Christians?  Thousands.  Those who have converted are not named Peter, John or Michael.  So, is their conversion a fraud?  Or perhaps they are a lower level Christian?  It’s disgusting and a slap in the face to what Christianity is supposed to mean.  It’s also a publicity nightmare for the faith in general.  I’m sure many of the faithful in the US and abroad got the message loud and clear.  Christians are willing to accept you as one of them when tallying their conversion points for God, but not when it comes to supporting your efforts to serve your public and your country.

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Hens don’t peck outcast chicks to somehow make those chicks better at conforming to the group.  They do it to destroy the chick.  Often times the chicks are pecked and bloodied for no more reason than being themselves.  It’s devastating to watch.  You try to distract the hens and coach the chicks, but there is often little that can be done other than completely isolating the targeted chicks.  Watching nature take its course is tough.  Seeing the proud chicks, heads held high with feather remnants dangling from their beaks, is one of those things you never really get used to.  Although, getting used to it would mean losing yet another thread of compassion that makes humans so special.

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