Pitiful

It takes me forever to finish a health or beauty product.  Usually by the time I get to the end, the stuff I was using is no longer available.  Often a new formula has been developed or the product has been discontinued.

Last week I ran out of my Soft & Dry deodorant and ventured to the store for a replacement.  True to form, the formula I was accustomed to had been improved.  Lucky me.  I purchased the ‘improvement’ and headed for home.  The next day I took the new version for a spin.  Holy satin surprise, was it strong!  My pits raged with fragrance.  Every time I exerted myself it was as if a flower shop had opened for business under my shirt.  I couldn’t sleep that night because I couldn’t find a position where my nose and eyes weren’t itching from the onslaught.

Now that a week has passed I notice my pits a lot less.  I’m no dummy though.  I know the smell is still there.  My body is evolving and tuning out the smell so I can cope and go on with my life.  That doesn’t save the poor unfortunate souls who are in my company during a strenuous or tense moment.  Their noses won’t have the benefit of adaptation.  I’m a bit weirded out over the thought of people being so accutely aware of my underarms.  Don’t get me wrong, I totally prefer a floral explosion over funk.  I just don’t understand what Soft & Dry was trying to accomplish.  Perhaps they’ve been working on a secret project with the Department of Homeland Security to develop a less expensive and more mainstream human lie detector test that could be used on an unsuspecting public?  Lord knows they’ve found a good one.  I suspect if I tell a lie a swarm of bees and butterflies will be making tracks in my direction.  Pitiful.

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