RIP Santa

Imagine my heartbreak to wake and find Santa dead on my neighbor’s lawn. Just the night before, he had been so full of life. He smiled and glowed yellow as he swayed in the gentle wind. In the harsh daylight, he was a flat and crumpled version of his former self. Amazingly, no one seemed concerned the jolly old man was no longer with us. I expected flashing lights, police tape and a chalk outline. His passing hardly attracted any attention. Pedestrians and motorists hurried by without so much as a second glance. A dog did give him a little sniff. He walked on, deciding his owner was better company than the shriveled departed with all of life’s air sucked out of him.

Part of me wonders what Santa was doing standing in my neighbor’s yard to begin with. This is Maryland, after all. It’s been in the 60’s. We’ve yet to see a snowflake. I can’t imagine that red velvet suit was a good outerwear choice. He probably succumbed to heat stroke. So sad. So sad. Santa must have fallen on hard times. I think my neighbor actually paid money to get him to stand in his lawn. Of course, with the price of toys these days, it’s no surprise Santa’s budget might have been a bit strained. If only we had known. If only we could have reached out and said “Santa, we love you for you…don’t put yourself out trying to please us with toys and goodies.” Now it’s too late. He’s gone. The spirit we enjoyed is now deflated.

My neighbor is trying to carry on as if everything is okay. No one wants to believe Santa is gone. He has managed to pump him full of air and prop him up at night to keep people’s mood festive. It’s not enough for me. I want the real guy. Listening to the motors of the machines used to keep Santa looking alive and well is too much to take.

If another jolly soul decides to fill Santa’s shoes, I hope we can find a way to make him feel loved and cared for without committing him to a life of front yard side shows.

2 Responses to “RIP Santa”

  1. Holly says:

    too funny. I’m guessing you are not the type to put 40 inflatable Christmas icons on your lawn.

  2. lisa says:

    Uhhhh, nope! LOL. I’m not knocking those who do, but it does kind of weird me out to see the flat plastic bodies sprawled on the lawn during the day. I do wonder what kiddos think of the display in the light of day.