Comments on: Sloppy Joes

By: Tricia

Tricia — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:43:38 +0000

My husband isn’t messy, THANKFULLY, but he doesn’t see the same level of grime that I do. Even when he cleans, he never does it as thuroughly as I do. I’ve learned to be OK with that since he at least is fairly annal in picking up after himself, etc. But your bigger question about women judging each other because of the state of our homes at any given time bothers me as well. I always think it’s the true friend who can stop by with only a moments notice and who doesn’t care if there are toys strewn, etc.

By: Leslie

Leslie — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:54:25 +0000

I’m sure your husband has many wonderful qualities; otherwise, why would you be married to him? I guess one has to choose her battles–if it got to the point where it drove you absolutely bonkers, then maybe it would be worth a confrontation. I’ve always said, “You can be as messy as you want, just as long as I don’t have to look at it.” In other words, keep it confined to a single room where you can gather up his stuff and just throw it in there and shut the door quickly before it escapes! Perhaps a bit passive-aggressive, perhaps not.

By: lisa

lisa — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:32:26 +0000

Thanks for stopping by, Leslie. My beloved is well aware of my issue with his messy ways. He’s lucky he has many redeeming qualities.

What’s interesting to me is that many of the gals I commiserate with feel their husband’s would be a bit better with the mess if their brains actually registered its existence. There are times when I honestly believe our eyes aren’t seeing the same environment.

The addition of kids makes it more complicated. There are even more messes to deal with and a greater chance of unexpected visitors.

By: Leslie

Leslie — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:10:42 +0000

A bit of clutter is acceptable; downright sloppiness isn’t. Guys shouldn’t think it’s OK to get away with continuing to act like children and expect you’ll be their mother there to clean up after them. You have every right to be embarrassed to have others come over and see that kind of mess. And if he cared anything about you, he’d clean up his act, literally. Of course, it’s up to you to let him know it bothers you and then see what he does. If you don’t, then he’s right in continuing to assume it’s OK.