Well, that covers just about everything…

Did you hear Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has confessed to being the mastermind of nearly every terror event our country has faced in the past 15 years? According to him, he planned the 9/11 attacks, personally beheaded Daniel Pearl, planned the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center, arranged the attempted shoe bombing by Richard Reid…the list goes on. He’s been a busy boy. How handy the responsibility for all of these events rests on the shoulders of a man we’ve been lucky enough to have in captivity for several years. Cheers to the judicial process at Guantanamo Bay for getting to the bottom of things and exposing the truth. While he’s in the mood to confess, I wonder if they wouldn’t mind asking if he had anything to do with the massive door ding I received while at Costco a few years ago. Of course, no note was left. With all he’s played a role in, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was somehow connected to the violation of my flawless paint job.

By the way, does this mean we don’t have to worry so much about Osama? Cause that would be handy too, now wouldn’t it.

3 Responses to “Well, that covers just about everything…”

  1. Amsterdamn says:

    Some people will say anything, just to stop the electric current to their testicles.
    Something women just will never understand.

  2. lisa says:

    Hmmm, an electric current you say? That at least offers some reassurance. I wasn’t positive they even had electricity at Gitmo.

    If they can zap him into admitting to my door ding, I might be able to go after him for damages. Perhaps I could even find a way to sue Osama. Osama is obviously not going to be brought down by traditional methods. It’s kind of like Capone and Ness. We sure could use Ness these days.

  3. Holly says:

    That is hysterical. I thought it was funny when every so often I would log into yahoo.com and see another headline about something he confessed to.
    Before I even read the story, I was like “oh, please – good thing we’ve had him in captivity all this time.”