Idiots Are Smarter Than We Think

I really think the modern way of handling idiotic behavior is off target. The message seems to be to take the high road and ignore those who behave like jerks amongst us. Don’t stoop to their level. Be more mature than they are. Acknowledging their ridiculous behavior is only giving them the attention they so desperately crave. Some will take whatever attention they can get, positive or negative.

I bought into this line of thinking for a while. I like to think of myself as mature and able to take the high road in life. Lately it has felt like there are more and more idiots in my world. You know though, that’s not true. It just feels that way because they are being allowed a voice while the mature and considerate amongst us are silently walking this elusive high road. The real kicker is that the silent maturity is not accompanied by peace. It is tangled with frustration and irritation. Yep, the idiots are cozy as cucumbers while those who are doing the right thing are uncomfortable and upset. THIS MAKES NO SENSE!

I participate in an internet community that has been a big part of my life for over 2 years now. Lots of fabulous women who love and care about one another. Unlike most internet communities consisting heavily of women, this is not a dramatic or petty group. The goals of the cyber family are essentially to be funny, helpful, supportive and good natured. One person has decided that the peaceful harmony of our group is not to her liking and has taken it upon herself, in a passive-aggressive way, to irritate the group to the core. We weren’t giving enough attention and now the plan is retaliation. Of course, she denies this is the case. We are the immature ones, you know, for reacting this way. Yeah, 30+ women have it all wrong. Now, this is a group of resourceful and intelligent women. It wouldn’t take much to squash her like a bug if we all played by the same rules she is using and went after her. Have we done that? No. Why? Because of this misplaced logic that the best way to deal with idiotic behavior is to ignore it and carry on as usual. As if it should be beneath us to make this one person uncomfortable participating in our community if she is not going to do so in an acceptable way.

This is why I say idiots are smarter than we think. Really. They have figured out they can behave as poorly as they wish and the world is going to tolerate it with a quiet ‘oh well’. The irony is that not all of us can be an idiot. You see, it’s like calling “shotgun” for the right to ride in the front passenger seat of the car. Once someone has called it, they are in that seat. It’s theirs. Everyone else has to sit in back. Because this woman was the first one to make a claim on the idiot seat, it is hers. So, if anyone else wants to act like an idiot to counter her behavior, well, that’s just wrong. It’s not acceptable. Won’t be tolerated. To add to the frustration, the person with first claim on the idiot’s seat is also the one most comfortable criticizing others when they attempt to stoop to the same level. Do you see the silliness of it all? Civilized people really have made life more difficult for themselves. Ironic.

28 Responses to “Idiots Are Smarter Than We Think”

  1. Jessica says:

    I am an idiot too, I guess. I have not time for selfish, drama filled, borderline psychiatric tricks of a near 40 year old woman. Really, she needs a better hobby. Should we send her some yarn and knitting neadles? Playing cards? Pencils and paper to write to prisioners? Or mabe the name of a good councelor is on order as she is obviously experiencing some sort of pain which is causing her to act out this way?

    Lady, if you are reading this – while I am sympathetic to your pain, it’s time to let it go. Move on.

  2. mandi says:

    Well said Lisa! as always you have such a great way with words.

  3. mandi says:

    Lisa, I wanted to add that I agree with everything you said. And yes I am soooo tired of taking the high road, when I want to avoid the internet community to avoid her is when the taking the high road is proving to be ineffective.

    I also like what Jessica had to say, I think perhaps knitting needles and yarn would be great to send her!

    Sorry my other comment was so short, we had a toddler emergency to take care of quickly. she was hungry!

  4. lisa says:

    I think a reason why the high road has been promoted in these types of situations is, in part, because most people really don’t enjoy being vindictive and mean. We choose this strategy because we hope to avoid conflict. We hope it will all go away. I know I am not one who enjoys seeing people get what they deserve. It makes me squirm. Consequences need to happen for our society to stay decent. Most of us just don’t want to have to be the one to dish them out.

    Thing is, we are all better off when unacceptable behavior is drawn into the spotlight and dealt with. Those on the receiving end don’t have to endure and endless parade of nonsense. Those who are carrying on in a ridiculous way are forced to knock it off before doing too much damage to their image and credibility.

    What is sad is this person originally was upset with a few people. Maybe 4 or 5. In the course of trying to make a point of some sort to those select few, she has turned off 30+. Was it worth it in the long run? I can’t imagine how it could be. Will she admit it? Probably not.

  5. Amsterdamn says:

    Thanks for the peek into women’s world. I enjoyed the visit, and wish you well. Luckily, men don’t gather into communities, real, or virtual. When men act annoying we do this: point to their tie, and when they look down, we suddenly pull our hand up and hit them in the face…. not too hard, but in a funny way. That will generally make them shape up. If not, we take their beer away.

  6. Fifi says:

    I’ll take all the beers, please! And onward to world domination, yes?! We’ll get there, hon.

  7. lisa says:

    You know what Amsterdamn, I was wondering if this was a woman thing. Men do seem a bit better at calling one another out and then getting over it. So much healthier. I think that is why they can be ticked at each other one moment and then having belching contests the next. Women drag things out and make things so much more complicated.

  8. Amsterdamn says:

    It is a woman thing. I once went to a meeting of the Junior League, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Oh my god, the horror.
    I do think it’s a result of the history of second-class citizenship, imposed by dominant males throughout the eons- so, of course, it’s really men that are to blame. And I think that as we have a few more generations of chicks playing team sports, all this will disappear.
    I am a father of two girls, so I feel like I know a little something about women. (The whole period-in-sync thing, BTW, is AMAZING!!! ; )

  9. Yael says:

    You have said it all baby. Wish we could post this in a certain place to make the point. *sigh* I have a feeling this would also be turned around and made out to be us being the ‘idiots’.
    More *sighing*
    Well said Lisa.

  10. beth says:

    Where can I read some of this woman’s comments? I am intrigued. And I want to point my finger at her tie and boink her in the nose when she looks down.

    Lisa, you are very eloquent.

  11. Kim says:

    Lisa! I could kiss you!! You have so eloquently written what I have been feeling for weeks and weeks now.

    And Amsterdamn~ LOL!!!
    “When men act annoying we do this: point to their tie, and when they look down, we suddenly pull our hand up and hit them in the face…. not too hard, but in a funny way. That will generally make them shape up. If not, we take their beer away.”

    Oh man, that made my day!

  12. lisa says:

    Kiss away, Kim. Cheaper and easier way to spread the Chapstick around. :-)

  13. Mellie says:

    Well Said Lisa i agree with jess we should give her some yarn and knitting needles.

  14. Samantha says:

    While reading you’re eloquent survey of this ridiculous situation, I had a thought. Does she know she’s acting like an immature idiot? Does she know that the 30+ women of this community now look at her with disgust? Is that how she wants to be seen? Does the fact that all of these caring, fun, supportive women no longer want her around impact her already obviously damaged psyche?

    Okay, so maybe that’s more than one thought, but I’m preggo and my mind is inclined to wander. My point is, what does she get out of this? When I think that this behavior gives her some kind of satisfaction, I feel pity for her. What kind of life must she lead? Maybe that’s why I’m inclined to ‘take the high road’ in situations like this. The alternative is to look at these idiots’ lives for what they are…sad.

  15. Amsterdamn says:

    I suggest that there is a way you, as a woman, can get in touch with your inner man. My favorite women friends, and I have a few, have a touch of that going on, and it’s fun to hang with them. Try it. What would a man do or say in this situation? Then do or say it.

  16. lisa says:

    Amsterdamn, I tried to get in touch with my inner man. Not sure if I pulled it off. Best I could do was leave my shoes in the middle of the floor and scratch a few things.

  17. Amsterdamn says:

    Now your getting the hang of it.*

    * The Family Man

    Nick Cage and Tea Leoni. Good movie.

  18. Anonymous says:

    You know, some people find joy in this sort of thing. I’ll never understand it. I’ve gotten a male’s point of view on this whole situation. He wants me to post expletives out in the open. Would that solve anything? Probably not, other than to get myself kicked off.

    Unfortunately dealing with the problem like a male would probably would only work with a male. You see this type of behaivor developing in children quite young. Males deal with problems a lot differently than girls. Boys will fight about it, get over it, and move on. Young girls will play mind games, try to get others to take sides. Unfortunately a few will never grow up and will continute to play these games.

  19. Amsterdamn says:

    It is indeed fascinating, the reality of gender differences, and how we interact. I never considered that angle of it, that what works with men would not work with women. For some reason, I think a big part of this is that women seem to care more than men do about a lot of things. We sincerely, madly, deeply, permanently just don’t care.

    We just want to watch the game.

  20. Ryan says:

    Where do you people come up with this shit? Mature women? This is exactly like the phone calls and text messages I hear and see teenagers involved in. Mature women who spend all their waking hours blabbering over one another? Is it mature women that can squash you like bugs? How would you intend to do this squashing, is that a threat? Are you all going to be blabbering people to death? Me thinks it’s time to get a job! You better check yourself tough girl, before the seat you find yourself in is much more uncomfortable than “shotgun.” You smack of priviledge, I am guessing you are not the type to back this sort of thing up, stay on your side of the tracks. I am seeing that passive aggressive may mean someone is doing little or nothing, and the “irritating to the core” is where you come in. now that is hysterically ironic!

    Jessica: hmm no time for the drama filled, yet you write paragraphs! Seems as though you have WAY TOO MUCH TIME AND LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU MUST BE PRINTING IT OFF AND ROLLING AROUND THE FLOOR ON IT! Maybe if you took the time to read the dictionary instead, you could spell “counselor” correctly! If not a job, then get an education.

    Mandi: Nice job delaying gratification of the toddler so you can avoid the drama.

    Lisa: Just what is the unacceptable behavior here? How dare someone exercise their free will! Speaking of drawing unacceptable behavior into the light, are you guys a lynch mob or what? You guys are self perpetuating your unproductive behavior, isn’t there some dusting that needs to be done? Go to your husbands and ask him if you can balance the checkbook! Sounds like you all are enjoying being vindictive and mean! It is not a woman thing, it is a woman with too much time on her hands thing. I am sure you moan to your husbands how tired you are at the end of each day, well here’s a suggestion, stay off the stinkingcomputer and your energy will soar!

    Amsterdammitall: I know this isn’t a revelation for you is it? Tell me you didn’t walk away and say “Jesus Christ, I have to go back to work to stay sane” Nice save on the “it’s men’s fault.” I know, I know, we do what we have to do to get laid. Did it work? Or did she do the tie thing on you and then start typing?

    Oh Samantha! Yes she must have a poor second class life, have you ever heard the phrase “nobody gives a fudge what you think?” Because that is where the rest of us are, I’m sure your pity goes a long way. Look at her in disgust? If her psyche is damaged why is YOUR mind wandering, but taking the positive and leaving the rest is not your style is it? You can’t control others, you just accept and move on. Furthermore, see the “vindictive and mean” referenced prior.

    Yael: Why not post it where you would like, chickenshit! Sounds like you are not fully committed to the “cause.” You have been outted, leave now!

    Beth: You have hit the funniest part of this whole perverted episode! I’d also love to see those funny posts! I bet there’s not much to really talk about with them. But rather just the ramblings of women about to get really screwed over when menopause hits and the husbands can’t take it anymore, and run from the house screaming their fool heads off.

    I have to stop randomly responding to these………….

  21. lisa says:

    Ryan, thanks for your rant. Impressive since the implication is you are not one with as much time on your hands as the rest of us.

    I agree one can exercise his/her free will. That does not go hand in hand with people respecting the person. People exercise their free will to do a lot of ridiculous things and then get their panties in a bunch when the world calls them on it.

    Glad you are familiar with the correct spelling of counselor. Comes in handy when you need to look it up in the yellow pages.

    It is funny you think I ‘smack of priviledge.’ Actually, most of my life was spent as a farm girl. I’ve also seen chicken shit up close. Never understood how it got roped into being a descriptive for someone one might view as timid or afraid. Do you know chicken shit is some of the most potent stuff out there? No joking. If you have ever had a chicken pen in an area, the grass is different for years after it is gone. Chicken shit is some intense stuff dude. Or is it dudette?

  22. lisa says:

    “You better check yourself tough girl, before the seat you find yourself in is much more uncomfortable than “shotgun.”” I am curious about this sentence, ‘Ryan’. Seems a bit over the top for a simple blog about biting lips and ignoring people who are behaving like idiots.

  23. Amsterdamn says:

    Ryan is exhibiting alpha-dog behavior. One good way to piss off a group of women. Let’s all be a little more humble.
    My humility, as some of you know, is one of the greatest things about me.
    (Was this all about biting lips? ‘Cause, I love that!)

  24. lisa says:

    LOL, it is a joke about chapstick Amsterdamn. Don’t get your hopes up.

    You are right. We should be more humble towards the alpha-dog. I’ll try to control my ‘tough girl’ side.

  25. Amsterdamn says:

    Lisa, one can never lose hope. Never. : )

  26. Angela says:

    Oh my goodness. Wow. I think this “Ryan” character needs some serious help. “Ryan:” I’d be careful what you say. Comments such as “You better check yourself tough girl, before the seat you find yourself in is much more uncomfortable than shotgun” can be construed as threats and can be reported to the police. Don’t think we won’t do it, either.

  27. Lurker says:

    Hey Lisa! I think this is hilarious! It looks like the individual in question has finally backed off for the most part. Sadly, though, I fear she has achieved part of her goal. By putting her “friends” in the middle of her childlike war, she seems to have driven some away from the original community.

    She clearly has a lot of time on her hands to post things as often as she does and seems to have a deep need to be popular. Perhaps someone wasn’t so popular in middle school? Or perhaps someone was the ring leader of the “Mean Girls” in her day. Who knows. What’s clear is that she wants to be the center of attention.

    I’d love to know what pissed her off to start with. My guess is certain people didn’t tell her often enough that her how cute her kid is because clearly she places undue emphasis on this attribute. I sense a stage mom in the making. People who place that much value on external appearances are rarely beautiful people on the inside.

    Anyway, kodus again to all you ladies for keeping the drama to a minimum.