Perhaps you know how it feels to walk around all day feeling fabulous only to return home and realize your zipper was open the entire time. It’s not great for the ego. What is particularly upsetting is if friends and colleagues saw your predicament and failed to say anything to spare your feelings. I vote for being embarrassed for a quick second so I can look better moving forward, don’t you?
A similar situation happened to me in college. It wasn’t about my zipper. It was about my writing abilities. I had been told all through high school how gifted a writer I was. My desk drawer held a stack of essays and term papers (yep, I kept them) decorated with comments like ‘fabulous’, ‘excellent’, ‘concise’, ‘top notch’. Forget 100%. Many of my papers earned 110%. Imagine my surprise when my first paper in college earned a 2.5 on a scale of 4.0!!! I couldn’t believe the professor’s nerve. The paper was better than anything I’d written in high school. Surely it was worthy of a 4.5?
My first reaction to the mediocre grade was to discredit the professor. He was a sloppy chap, after all. His shirt was usually not tucked. His jacket never matched his pants. The briefcase he carried was worn and remnants of papers escaped out the sides. This mess of a professor simply didn’t know what he was talking about. He probably didn’t even read my paper.
I was content to let the whole thing go until my second effort in his class failed to impress. Not only was it also viewed as mediocre, it was a step back from my previous showing. An ugly 2.0 was written in black marker at the top. Enough was enough. I had to confront this guy and get him to see what he was missing. I approached him and explained how much of an effort I was putting into the creative process for this class and how frustrated I was that it wasn’t being recognized. He shook his head and laughed a bit. His response…”my dear, I don’t grade on ideas. I grade on how well you express them. You are all over the place. Your sentences change direction like the wind and send the reader on a wild goose chase. Take care of your random approach to your message and you’ll solve your problem.”
Humph! Random?! Not me. Well, I thought not me. That was until I reread my papers (college and high school) with newly opened eyes. Oh my, if they weren’t horrible! My ideas were all over the place. Before I even began to finish one line of thinking, I was off on the next. Everything was patchy and incomplete. I couldn’t believe no one had pointed this out to me before. I also couldn’t believe I was staring at papers covered in accolades and bonus percentage points. Ick. I was mortified.
Taking Dr. Z’s points into consideration, I spent the remainder of my time in his class raking in 4.0s. To this day, I know I’m a better writer for his honest feedback. Yes, it was hard to receive. It was worth it in the long run. Funny he didn’t feel the need to spare my feelings. Perhaps the people who care about you the most are the ones willing to risk you not liking them so they can point you in the right direction.
Looks like we were both thinking about writing today 😉 I admit I’m struggling with the randomness of my own writing nowadays.
I chuckled when I read your blog. We were definitely on the same page. I don’t find your writing random. Your subjects vary, but you follow through a thought when you are giving it attention. I think you write well. Trust that I’d tell you if your zipper was down.
Thanks, I’d really appreciate that
I’m really enjoying your blog. I, personally, love the way you write
Thank you Cathy. I hope you stick around.