As a twin, I grew up sharing at a young age. From the womb to toys to bedrooms, nothing was ever just my own. Sharing is a good thing usually. It really is easier to make friends and get along with others when not intent on keeping everything to yourself. There is a limit, however. Sometimes people take sharing to the extreme.
It sounds like I’m being petty to complain about people sharing too much. Some might argue sharing too much is better than not sharing at all. It’s hard to say. If it were about sharing fortunes, chocolate chip cookies and helpful advice, I’d agree. The sharing that holds me up is the kind that is the result of another person not thinking about or being considerate to others. Those who feel sharing the road means I should also share my car lane with them. Those who feel my wireless internet service is a free for all…like I’m Starbuck’s or something. Those who have a cold or the flu and don’t feel complete until they’ve included me in the party. Those who are unable to say something nice, but have a knack for sharing advice and commentary that irritates and offends.
It would be easier to swallow the above offenses if those involved were just so tuned into sharing they couldn’t separate the good from the bad. I have a sneaky suspicion that is not the case, however. I remember returning to my car in the grocery store parking lot to find someone had attempted to share my parking space. A 15 inch scratch decorated my rear bumper. Funny how there wasn’t a note on my window offering to share the repair bill.
With the holidays approaching, we tend to take a little more time to reflect on how we treat others and what we can do better in the New Year. I think it would be good if we all looked at how we could make sharing good things a bigger part of our lives. Even if we occasionally share things that aren’t so great, the positive should always outweigh the negative.
As a twin also, I had to share a LOT. I think my twins do not really get the chance to share that much. I think it is because the are just plain spoiled!!!
But what you are talking about is called “kokua,” in Hawaii. Letting someone in ahead of you, that sort of thing. It’s just one special part of living in the islands. There are exceptions, but we do in general live with ‘lokahi’ (unity), pono (doing right); kokua (helpfulness) and aloha (love) here. Click on my little blog bumper sticker called Live Aloha, to read more!
Interesting to hear your take on twinhood, I have twin daughters myself Would love to hear more about growing up as a twin if you would indulge us sometime..
(Like should I feel guilt that their two main Cmas gifts are shared ones even if they requested it that way? Or is it a crime to give identical gifts even though they both requested same?!)
Know what you mean. People have to learn to get along. I try my best..
Hey Lisa,
I have an identical twin brother. We have shared virtually everything our whole lives, and have only had cross words on a couple of occasions in our entire lives. It was us against the world. It does bug me, though, that he “shares” memories: things that actually happened to me, he insists happened to him.
I forgive him, however.
He is just so good looking, you can’t be angry at him. ; )
Funny Amsterdamn. You’ll have to read my post on twins today. How weird he thinks your experiences are his. Unless of course you are mistaking his experiences for yours. Hmmmmmmm????
My sister and I didn’t fight often either. I remember 2 specific fights that were real. One was just irritation over close quarters and another was over a boy. My sister had a boyfriend who wasn’t treating her well and I was upset about it and lashed out. I’ll never forget that moment.
My twin sis and I always fought and still do.
Lisa–you don’t say (or did i miss it) whether you two were ID or fraternal??
Fraternal.
Not to get into the specifics, but what types of things do you fight about? Do you think the arguments are tied to competing with one another?