Use Your Wisdom

There comes a time when we need to face facts and make some hard decisions. I know it is the holiday season and all, but I’ve decided I need to cut back on some of my employees. Their salary requirements are simply too steep for my budget. I’ve been reducing my dependence on their services over the course of time. I’ve reached the point where I’m ready to sever the relationship completely and move on.

So, who am I cutting loose? All of those expensive actors, actresses, musicians and athletes who are now earning millions of dollars per endeavor. Don’t get me wrong. I love the entertainment they provide. And I’m fortunate I don’t have to pay their entire salary. Their expensive life styles and gigantic paychecks are starting to effect my bottom line though. The piece of their salary I contribute to through movie tickets, CD purchases, sports passes and such is simply getting to be too high. It’s not that I don’t value their effort or their talent. I’m just not sure it’s worth millions of dollars for a short piece of their time. Frankly, you’d be hard pressed to convince me anyone is truly worth earning in months what one couldn’t even begin to spend in 50 lifetimes.

So, that’s that. I’m putting my footdown and saying no more. When they are willing to work for me again at a more reasonable price, I’ll consider changing my mind. Until then, I’m going to seek out less expensive providers who are able to entertain me without bleeding me dry.

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Isn’t it crazy how crowded the malls and shopping plazas are once the holiday season arrives? The mad dash for the perfect gift is on. From the looks on people’s faces, I can tell this is yet another year of “what should I buy.” Really, most make the quest for presents much more difficult and expensive than it needs to be. Pressure to out do previous years is rampant. The current rage is to find something unique and flashy. Trouble is, unique and flashy often ends up broken, gathering dust on a shelf or tucked away in a drawer. Why spend hard earned money on something that isn’t really needed and only serves to junk up the other person’s home?

If you are at a loss for gifts that will be appreciated and used, I would turn to the store that specializes in providing us with essentials…the grocery store. I know, sounds boring. Think about it though. There are lots of things in the grocery store we use, but may not splurge on regularly, like dried spices. Did you know they should be tossed every 6 months? Hmmm, many of mine are over 5 years old. No wonder my cooking is bland. What about some of those quality olive oils that come in the cans that shield light? Lots of fruits, nuts and preserves are at the ready. Fancy jars and bottles of olives, marinades and vinegars are unique yet functional. A variety of marinaras and sauces paired with specialty pastas might be nice.

Food isn’t the only option. The grocery store has plenty of hairbrushes, round and flat. Most people’s hairbrushes and combs are practically antiques and beginning to resemble pets. I know I’ve had mine for at least 4 years. There are shoe insoles, bubble baths, hand lotions, vitamins and books. Many homes have Brita water pitchers. The filter replacements are handy. What about kids? Coloring books, stickers, patterned shoe laces and flavored jellos work. Older kids might enjoy magazines (with subscriptions) or Rit dye to alter their clothes. Age appropriate cosmetics, cleansers and gels also do the trick.

Grocery stores are packed full of things everyone can use. Even if the ideas I’ve listed above don’t work for you, perhaps your mind is thinking about gifts in a new way. If hitting the malls and wrapping up the latest and greatest is your thing, that’s completely fine. I’m sure retailers will appreciate your dollars and enthusiasm. There are other options though. And you don’t have to go broke being merry.

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As I sat rocking my daughter in her nursery, I found myself taking in the shadows playing on the walls in the blue of her nightlight. Her crib rails were giant pillars leaping toward the ceiling. Caught in the fray was a tiny bear that had grown to the size of a beast capable of scaling the Empire State Building. Even a pretty basket, normally pink and frilly, was joining the game. It took the form of a large spaceship circling the pillars and chasing the beast in search of his prey. All of the shadows brought back memories of the fears I had of monsters as a child. Nighttime brought out so many worries of potential threats. I’d line my bed with all of my stuffed animals in the hopes they would be able to fend of any villains. Then I’d offer several “if I die before I wake” requests up to my greater being. Eventually, I would lose the energy to continue the battle against the dark and I’d drift to sleep.

Now that I’m an adult, I’m no longer afraid of shadows in the night. I’m wise enough to know they are the result of harmless objects being seen in a different light. My new nighttime monsters aren’t on the walls. They are the traces of my daily fears and worries hiding in my brain. Just like the frilly basket and tiny bear, once the lights go off any problems I’m struggling with are also blown out of proportion. Trouble is, with these new monsters, lining my bed with stuffed animals does nothing to soothe my concern and help me sleep. The only way I’ve found to tame these beasts is to make sure I put them away as best as possible during the day. Leaving them out to be exposed in the different light of night affords me no peace. Sure, there are some challenges that can’t be resolved immediately. Identifying solutions and setting them in motion provides more significant armor against the monsters than ignoring the problems and hoping they will go away.

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When I was young I loved to go to flea markets with my Uncle. He collected glass bottles and enjoyed the hunt. I’d tag along with my eyes peeled for cast iron doll house furniture, hand carved wooden puzzles, Barbie clothes and Raggedy Ann dolls. It was always fun to explore the booths and tables and come home with all sorts of odds and ends. I heard the cliche’ “one person’s junk is another person’s treasure” many a time as a kid. It rang true for me. I was always delighted with my acquisitions.

Twenty-five years have passed since those youthful days of skipping down dusty rows of whatnots. I wonder if the old cliche’ still holds true? There is no question I am surrounded by quite a bit of junk these days. From carpet to ceiling, my house is pretty much covered in useless stuff. Would another person walk into my lair and gasp at all the treasures? I’m not so sure.

My doubts in my junk being another person’s treasure stems from the growing reality everyone else seems to have the same junk already! It’s no longer unique and special. Have you been to many garage sales lately? It’s like seeing your living room on someone else’s driveway. The real tragedy is when you drive by later in the day only to find the junk is still there with various price reductions marked all over. A new low is the treasure planted in someone’s front yard with a ‘FREE’ sign that has clearly been there for a while.

Looking around my home, I can spot the junk without much effort. It sticks out like a sore thumb, actually. Why I wasn’t as astute in the store, I can’t say. Must of been some pretty convincing marketing messages. They’ve done their job seeing as I still haven’t been able to part with things I’m sure I need, but haven’t found a reason to use for several years. Not only have I not been able to part with my junk, my husband and I are making a considerable investment in storage units to hide it all. That’s no where near the dollars we will spend when we purchase a larger home to make room for more. Then there is the cost the movers will charge us to box it all up and transport it to the next closet, attic or basement.

Have we gone insane? Perhaps we’ve put too much stock in believing our junk could really be a treasure. I’m not sure how it all happened and when it began. I do know when it’s going to end for me. No more useless purchases. I’m taking control of my house and stripping it of the very things that are crowding my rooms and crowding my spirit. If they were really treasures, they wouldn’t leave me feeling cramped and overwhelmed. Of course, I’ll give away what I can. It’s sad to accept; however, a fair share will be destined for the gaping hole at our modern day Treasure Island…the landfill. From now on, I’m going to treasure the things that are living and breathing. No one else has my husband. No one else has my daughter. You can’t get more special than that.

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I came to the realization this weekend I’m not rich because I’m not shopping enough. Go figure. I guess I should pay attention to advertisements more often. Boy, to read about how much money people are ‘saving’ by buying this or that, it really makes you want to hit the stores. Of course, I don’t need this or that. I’d be willing to buy them though if it meant I was saving money. Saving money is the goal right? It should be the focus of a 35 year old woman who still has some good income earning years before retirement.

So I’ve made the decision this Monday morning that I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m going to be a responsible saver and start shopping more. This or that…here I come. I don’t have a lot of cash on hand to buy this or that. Good thing I have a credit card. Charging things has always felt unwise. Now that I know I can save money while charging, I feel much better about the idea.

Someone once told me if you save $10 everyday you’ll be in good shape. Let’s see, if I save $50 on a new leather jacket, $25 on that trendy purse with the fabulous buckle, $100 on a pretty diamond necklace (my daughter’s birthstone) and $3,000 on that luxury sedan I’ll have managed to accomplish an entire year’s worth of savings in an afternoon. Shear genius! My husband is going to be so proud of me!

Okay, all kidding aside, how often do we fall into this trap? How often are we buying things we don’t need, or are above our budget threshold, because we have convinced ourselves we are saving money? So many of my friends are saving to the point of being broke by buying this or that. Do this or that really enhance our lives to the extent they are worth compromising the security of our financial futures?

It’s fascinating when you sit back and consider how big an industry retailers have made out of helping individuals save money. Any Costco or Sam’s Club members out there? I’m a Costco groupie. Filling up my cart with items makes me feel responsible and proud. Never mind the flat of muffins I bought are likely to spoil before I manage to eat through my savings. Who cares that I’ll never use the 20 cans of tuna fish I managed to convince myself was a fabulous deal. Ignore the 8 pound boulder of ground beef with 20% fat is selling for the same price per pound as the ground beef with 7% fat currently featured as a sale item at my local grocery store. I mean, this is Costco. Everything in the store has to be cheaper, right?

Am I saying that sales and bulk goods stores can’t help us save money? No. They can go a long way to helping us save $10 a day and actually having that $10 to put in the bank. The key is to make sure we are experiencing savings on the this and thats we actually needed and planned to buy, sale or no sale. It’s a great deal when you can afford to pay $25,000 for a car and find a way to get it for $22,000. We are stealing from our future when we’ve saved $5,000 on a car that was $10,000 more than what we could afford to begin with.

I guess I’ll close with a little vote of encouragement for myself and whoever happens to kill some time on my blog. We can be smart about this. We can thumb our noses at these silly retail strategies that are designed to pull money out of our pockets so someone else’s future is funded. We can be protectors of our family’s future by knowing what we need and what we can afford to pay. Let’s get rich on our bank statement instead of in our minds.

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I know my husband is probably groaning over me telling my orange story again. He has heard it plenty of times. Sorry honey, it must be done. The world must know my citrus saga. The people of this great planet deserve to have the blinders taken off on what our 5 pound bags of oranges really amount to in the present day. Are you ready for this? 3.25 pounds.

Not long ago, I was hovering over a display of beautiful bagged oranges. They were on sale and stacked up in all of their glory at the front of the produce section. Though I don’t recall the actual price, I remember thinking it was a good deal for a 5 pound bag. I picked a bag, placed it in my cart and went on my merry way. Something was nagging at me though. I kept looking at my bag of oranges. It sure looked petite. Though it doesn’t take a great deal of might to toss a 5 pound bag in the cart, that particular bag sailed through the air with a fingertip’s effort. My curiosity started to get the best of me and I decided to hunt down a scale. A few minutes later, I had to do a bit of searching, I was staring at the indeniable truth. My 5 pound bag of oranges weighed a hair over 3 pounds. Unlucky pick? Nope. Guess who had nothing better to do than return to the orange display and start weighing bags? That would be me. It took 7 bags to find one weighing near 5 pounds. Most were hovering around the 3-3.5 pound mark. Some reached an admirable 4 pounds. None were over 5 pounds…surprise, surprise.

I could go on and on about the ridiculous looks and comments store management gave me when I shared my concerns. Afterall, so what if the bags are short a pound or two? That’s a blog for another day. Today, I’m thinking about the strength of a label. How easy it is to walk away with 3 pounds of oranges, no matter what inconsistencies may exist, simply because something or someone is telling us differently. What other labels have fooled me? What other labels have fooled you? When something or someone is identified a certain way, do you take that label as the unbendable truth? Now I challenge myself to get out the scale and measure things. I don’t brush off nagging feelings. It’s hard to know how many 3 pound bags of oranges are actually out there. There is some comfort in knowing I’m better prepared to spot them.

Don’t think for a minute this is the last blog on labels. My Australian friend Helen, mentioned in my About page, hates the labels people plaster on themselves and others. She’s really helped me to see things differently. Stay tuned.

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