Kids can be so cute. Their observations, questions and freely offered commentary are often entertaining and unique in perspective. I’m sure we all can think of funny and heart warming stories about something a child did or said. Occasionally the line between cute and obnoxious is crossed. When you are testing new waters, mistakes happen. Fortunately kids have parents to steer them in the right direction and let them know when and why they are off track. Parents don’t always come through, however.
A recent trip to the grocery store enlightened me to the possibility not all parents are willing or able to distinguish between cute and not so cute. A young boy was pleading his case to his mother while hovering over a giant gumball machine. His mother was attempting to leave the store and was ‘encouraging’ her son to join her. She was laughing as he raised his voice in a more convincing protest. Standing behind them both with a full cart of bagged groceries, I was forced to wait the process out so I could also leave. When the boy realized a gumball wasn’t in his future, he decided to head away from his mother and towards the main area of the store. The only problem was, my cart was firmly planted in his path. Instead of conceding, he decided to make me the target of his frustration. Thumping my thigh, he grumbled I was in his way. Then he started chanting “get out of my way…get out of my way…get out of my way.” As his mother approached, I was naively expecting an apology and a well timed message of how to behave to her son. Amazingly his mother was still giggling and shaking her head at how strong willed boys can be. How disappointing to see an opportunity to teach her son how to be a good citizen of the world was ignored. He wasn’t behaving that way because he was a strong willed boy. He was behaving that way because adults weren’t taking the time to tell him when he wasn’t being kind or considerate.
Now that I have a 7 month old daughter, I’ve been paying close attention to how parents shape and mold their children. It’s a constant effort. Teaching opportunities never end. I admire and appreciate the parents who give their children the ultimate gift, the ability to understand how their actions affect others. In the end, it’s that very understanding that helps us navigate friendships, marriages, employment situations, etc. What starts out as a 5 year old who thinks he’s cute thumping a bystander and yelling to get out of the way, may very well turn into a 30 year old man who throws tantrums and lashes out at his wife or children. Isn’t it worth the time to kneel down beside the gumball machine and offer our children instruction on right versus wrong. Sure, kids may not suspend their tantrum at that moment. They’ve heard the message though. There is a better chance of absorbing a message if it’s actually spoken.
I’m with you. It’s NEVER appropriate to hit someone!! The child should have been made to apologize–that was way out of line.
I think some behaviors can be molded, but others, the kids are simply born with their hard-headed traits and these are the cards we’re dealt.
As my mom is fond of saying to me, when I cry on her shoulder about mine, “Dear you just got difficult children.” Or when I beg to know when it gets easier, I get this: “It never gets easier, only different!”