Yesterday’s post on my negative experience with a 7 year old left me thinking about how my behavior was shaped as a child. Looking back, we were constantly receiving messages on how to treat others. My mom’s primary concern when we were kids was that she refused to have children who annoyed others. Touching, I know. She made us aware at an early age of how our actions effected others. She was quick to point out when people may not being liking us all that much because of how we were behaving at the moment. Lucky for her, she happened to have two kids who desperately wanted to be liked and who embarrassed easily.
Aside from the messages she delivered in the form of parental guidance, she also modeled the behavior she expected from us. She didn’t do it to set an example. She did it because it is in her core that others deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. One of my earliest memories on the subject involves my mom and a clerk at a grocery store. We were waiting in line with a cart full of items. The woman in front of us was fumbling for a check and a pen. This was the early 70’s. There weren’t any debit cards to scan. It seemed like an eternity before the customer ahead of us was finally finished and on her way. When our turn came, the cashier apologized profusely for the other customer and began making remarks on how she was an idiot and such. Without missing a beat, my mom asked the clerk a startling question. “I’m curious, what do you intend to say about me to the next customer once I’m gone?” Holy cow! Even the young kid in me knew that was a big gotcha moment. The cashier stuttered a bit. My mother went on to say that she need not put down another customer to make her satisfied with the service. I wanted to shrivel up and die with embarrassment over my mother calling the cashier’s rudeness out on the table. As a kid, I thought it was wrong for my mother to put her on the spot like that. As an adult, I’m giving her a standing ovation. She didn’t ignore the ill treatment of another. She also didn’t participate in the negative remarks. How often do you see people either doing nothing or going along and joining in. I’ll answer…too often. My mom taught me a lesson that day I will never forget. It reminds me as a parent there is so much more I can do for my daughter than offer words and shake a finger from time to time.
Wow lisa. That was so well said & a good reminder – I think I needed this today! :o)
opps! lol that was supposed to be a smiley face!
what a great lesson. I hope we pass that along to our little one!